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Top 10 Chuck Norris Quotes - Funny Chuck Norris Facts Video

You may have seen some of these funny quotes about Chuck Norris on the Internet. They are pretty crazy. Here is Chuck Norris him self reading the top 10 Chuck Norris quotes.

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jayburdNov 04, 2009 8:41 AM
 
0
when chuck norris does a push-up, he's not pushing himself up, he is pushing the rest of the world down.

chukyNov 02, 2009 9:08 PM
 
0
apple pays chuck norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

kyle nixons #1 fanNov 01, 2009 12:57 AM
 
-5
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Chuck to the NorrisOct 30, 2009 8:28 PM
 
0
Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.

chuck norrisOct 29, 2009 10:34 PM
 
+1
was having sex in a truck. part of his sperm escaped and got into the engine. we now know this truck as Optimus Prime

CecilioOct 29, 2009 12:19 AM
 
0
jesus christ may have walked on water but chuck norris swam on land

justin8930Oct 22, 2009 8:33 PM
 
-2
chuck norris isnt allergic to bees, bees are allergic to chuck norris

chuck norris fan#1Oct 21, 2009 4:43 PM
 
0
chuck Norris is not afraid of bees, bees are afraid of chuck Norris.

shannaOct 20, 2009 12:54 PM
 
+1
Chuck Norris ordered a big mac at burger king..and got one!!

The ShowOct 20, 2009 1:38 AM
 
0
Chuck norris was once bit bu a rattle snake and it died

ohhh boooyOct 19, 2009 12:19 AM
 
0
chuck norris is only bad at being bad

junk kickerOct 17, 2009 12:09 AM
 
0
Guns don't kill, Chuck Norris kills!

chucknorrisOct 16, 2009 5:47 PM
 
0
if at first you dont succeed, your not chuck norris

jo momaOct 14, 2009 3:41 PM
 
0
Chuck Norris can hear u before u think it

chip littleOct 14, 2009 2:22 PM
 
+1
Never look Chuck Norris in the eyes..the dinosaurs mad that mistake once and only once

chip littleOct 14, 2009 2:15 PM
 
0
chuck norris does not speek u listen..or die

chip littleOct 14, 2009 2:10 PM
 
0
i love chuck norris

jonnydeeeOct 12, 2009 3:50 PM
 
0
chuck norris created the giraffe..he uppercutted a horse. It is said chuck norris' tears can cure cancer shame hes never cried

Chucky102Oct 11, 2009 5:46 PM
 
+3
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter. When chuck Norris plays monopoly it affects the economy.

mr darker is klOct 06, 2009 4:57 AM
 
+2
trees are chuck nooris sperm

mr darker is klOct 06, 2009 4:54 AM
 
0
jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can walk on jesus

BukowskiOct 05, 2009 3:43 PM
 
+1
Chuck Norris GOT milk!

better then chuckOct 04, 2009 12:00 AM
 
-6
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Catt4656Sep 30, 2009 9:22 AM
 
-1
When the Boogeyman Goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

chuck norris is godSep 11, 2009 3:58 PM
 
0
hee hee i posted twice just to annoy you. :}

chuck norris is godSep 11, 2009 3:56 PM
 
+6
chuck norris has no father. he built a time machine, went back in time and fathered himself, then he went further back in time, to when there was nothing, and told that nothing to get a job. in other words, chuck norris is responsible for his own existance, as well as yours.

chuck norris is godSep 11, 2009 3:55 PM
 
+1
chuck norris has no father. he built a time machine, went back in time and fathered himsel, then he went further back in time, to when there was nothing, and told that nothing to get a job. in other words, chuck norris is responsible for his own existance, as well as yours.

chuck norrisSep 11, 2009 3:45 PM
 
+5
There was this one time when I ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour, I spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress. I will now kill you all, and donate your bodies to my neighbor so he can feed you to his rabid dogs. Have a pleasant day.

vrissSep 06, 2009 4:42 PM
 
+7
bullets dodge chuck norris

HODSep 02, 2009 6:54 AM
 
+1
jesus may hve been able to walk on water, but chuck norris could swim through ground!

HODSep 02, 2009 6:53 AM
 
0
you know those little metal shavins you use in your science experiments?.. ye well thats what happened when someone tried to shoot chuck norris's beard! that man was eaten instantly..

KfizzleSep 01, 2009 7:22 AM
 
+2
Chuck norris entered a Dodo eating contest.. and took it too serious

that guyAug 31, 2009 5:43 PM
 
0
chuck norris doesnt belive in god. god belives in him

DooneyAug 30, 2009 4:40 PM
 
0
If Chuck Norris is late time better slow the *** down

DooneyAug 30, 2009 4:38 PM
 
+2
Some people wear Superman pyjamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas In Las Vegas, There was a street named after Chuck Norris. 25 people die crossing that street because nobody crosses Chuck Norris Chuck Norris can connect 4 in 3 goes

espoAug 25, 2009 7:54 PM
 
0
Chuck Norris once killed a man with his beard

espoAug 25, 2009 7:47 PM
 
+2
Chuck Norris watches blu-ray discs on a vcr

espoAug 25, 2009 7:46 PM
 
0
Confucius says.. "All my quotes are based on the life and times of Chuck Norris"

RosettaAug 23, 2009 2:12 PM
 
0
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's f*cking beef.

butterfly80us20Aug 18, 2009 8:02 AM
 
+1
Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time with out proper eye protection will cause blindness and possibly foot sized bruises on the face!!

chuck norrisAug 18, 2009 6:01 AM
 
-1
FLOON

pooh fighterAug 16, 2009 7:37 PM
 
0
underneath Chuck Norris's beard is another fist

kyruAug 10, 2009 8:29 PM
 
+4
chuck norris doesnt follow the law, the law follows chuck norris

190683Aug 09, 2009 2:26 PM
 
-7
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bobby joeAug 04, 2009 11:16 PM
 
+4
chuck norris know's "victorias" secret? haha chuck norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle chuck norris can make a happy meal SAD! hahahah

srikarJul 29, 2009 1:34 AM
 
+1
Bermuda Triangle Mystery solved. Chuck Norris resides beneath and pulls in everything for his snacks!!

DiggiJul 28, 2009 4:45 PM
 
0
my dad said chuck norris went to the arctic thats why the ice is melting

chiba.Jul 25, 2009 6:33 PM
 
0
chuck norris eats steak every day. Usually he doesnt kill the cow.

dafakJul 23, 2009 7:22 AM
 
+3
There is no theory of evolution.. just a list of animals Chuck Norris lets live.

JellybeanzzJul 22, 2009 12:01 PM
 
+1
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest

(View All 91 Comments)


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