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    Guzer.com Jokes: How to be politically correct with women

    She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

    She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

    She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

    She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

    She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

    She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

    She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

    She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

    She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

    She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

    She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

    She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

    She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

    She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

    She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

    She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

    She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

    She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE