chuck norris died and went to heaven and looked at god nd said get out of my seat

chuck norris once got into a staring contesst with the sun and he won

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

After chuck Norris has sex he smokes, not cigarettes but his penis literraly smokes

chuck norris doesent cut his grass he stares at it and dares it to grow chuck norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves

if you had 5 dollors and chuck norris had 5 dollors chuck norris would have more money than you.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When I jump out of planes I yell.. "Chuck Norris" Chuck Norris yells "MEE"

When I jump out of planes I yell "Chuck Norris" Chuck Norris yells "MEE"

Ever since Chuck Norris was born, round house kick deaths have been increased by 30,00%!

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

2 kids once peed on snow, spelling their name, Chuck Norris peed on concrete and spelled his name.

chuck norris called your mom, who called you and said "you suck"

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Only Chuck Norris has seen Dark Matter

chuck norris can travel faster than the speed of light

chuck norris can get an ATAR of 100 even though the highest possible is 99.95

chuck norris can delete the recycling bin

chuck norris can stack up boots of speed in dota

chuck norris can flood the earth by roundhouse kicking the ocean

chuck norris can reverse time

chuck norris is the centre of the universe

chuck norris is the reason why wally is hiding

chuck norris is right here

chuck norris can escape from a black hole

chuck norris can speak braille

chuck norris is the reason why the earth has gravity

chuck norris once counted to infinity, twice

chuck norris knows the last number of pi

when chuck norris does a push-up, he's not pushing himself up, he is pushing the rest of the world down.

apple pays chuck norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

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Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.

was having sex in a truck. part of his sperm escaped and got into the engine. we now know this truck as Optimus Prime

jesus christ may have walked on water but chuck norris swam on land

chuck norris isnt allergic to bees, bees are allergic to chuck norris

chuck Norris is not afraid of bees, bees are afraid of chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ordered a big mac at burger king..and got one!!

Chuck norris was once bit bu a rattle snake and it died

chuck norris is only bad at being bad

Guns don't kill, Chuck Norris kills!

if at first you dont succeed, your not chuck norris

Chuck Norris can hear u before u think it

Never look Chuck Norris in the eyes..the dinosaurs mad that mistake once and only once

chuck norris does not speek u listen..or die

i love chuck norris

chuck norris created the giraffe..he uppercutted a horse. It is said chuck norris' tears can cure cancer shame hes never cried

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter. When chuck Norris plays monopoly it affects the economy.

trees are chuck nooris sperm

jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can walk on jesus

Chuck Norris GOT milk!

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When the Boogeyman Goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

hee hee i posted twice just to annoy you. :}

chuck norris has no father. he built a time machine, went back in time and fathered himself, then he went further back in time, to when there was nothing, and told that nothing to get a job. in other words, chuck norris is responsible for his own existance, as well as yours.

chuck norris has no father. he built a time machine, went back in time and fathered himsel, then he went further back in time, to when there was nothing, and told that nothing to get a job. in other words, chuck norris is responsible for his own existance, as well as yours.

There was this one time when I ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour, I spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress. I will now kill you all, and donate your bodies to my neighbor so he can feed you to his rabid dogs. Have a pleasant day.

bullets dodge chuck norris

jesus may hve been able to walk on water, but chuck norris could swim through ground!

you know those little metal shavins you use in your science experiments?.. ye well thats what happened when someone tried to shoot chuck norris's beard! that man was eaten instantly..

Chuck norris entered a Dodo eating contest.. and took it too serious

chuck norris doesnt belive in god. god belives in him

If Chuck Norris is late time better slow the f**k down

Some people wear Superman pyjamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas In Las Vegas, There was a street named after Chuck Norris. 25 people die crossing that street because nobody crosses Chuck Norris Chuck Norris can connect 4 in 3 goes

Chuck Norris once killed a man with his beard

Chuck Norris watches blu-ray discs on a vcr

Confucius says.. "All my quotes are based on the life and times of Chuck Norris"

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's f*cking beef.

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time with out proper eye protection will cause blindness and possibly foot sized bruises on the face!!

FLOON

underneath Chuck Norris's beard is another fist

chuck norris doesnt follow the law, the law follows chuck norris

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chuck norris know's "victorias" secret? haha chuck norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle chuck norris can make a happy meal SAD! hahahah

Bermuda Triangle Mystery solved. Chuck Norris resides beneath and pulls in everything for his snacks!!

my dad said chuck norris went to the arctic thats why the ice is melting

chuck norris eats steak every day. Usually he doesnt kill the cow.

There is no theory of evolution.. just a list of animals Chuck Norris lets live.

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest

there i no such thing of hurricanes chuck norris just decided to take a swim.

chuck norris don't believe in santa clause because he is santa clause

chuck norris sleeps with a night light not because hes scared of the dark but the dark is scared of chuck norris

Chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris can have just one lays potato chip, chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open

The movie anacanda was created In chuck norris' pants

If chuck norris sleeps wit a man it doesnt mean he is gay..he has just run out of woman!!

chuck norris is the reason for teardrops on taylor swifts guitar..

chuck norris got a lego set at the age of 5.. the great wwall of china still stands today..

chuck norris can strangle you with a corless phonee:)

chuck norris went to mars thats y there is no life there

chuck norris walked down the street with an erection..there were no survivors

chuck norris does not do push ups..he pushes the earth down..

the only person who cried when i was born was the doctor-never slap chuck norris

Chuck can draw in Notepad :)

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chuck norris doesn't sleep.. he waits

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors

Chuck Norris doesnt have a control key on his keypad, because Chuck Norris is always in Control

When Chuck Norris Jumps in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norrised

chuck norris went to burger king and ordered a Big Mac..and got one!!

cak noris je jednom ostro pogledo coveka i iseko ga.lol

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter

if you have five pounds, and chuck norris has five pounds, chuck norris has more money than you :')

Chuck Norris can run for president, but the president can't run for Chuck Norris.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could.. Chuck Norris!

"Violance is my last option"

mr chuck is scary so scary he scars the devil

If you have a dollar and Chuck Norris has a dollar Chuck Norris would kick your ass and take your dollar!

chuck norris does not tea bag the ladies he potato sacks 'em

chuck norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he needs

i love chuck xx

haa

chuck he is my boy

for number 4, he has all the world records.. even biggest boobs? wow..

please don't whup my guzer ass mr. norris

Chuck Norris is one bad ass!

chuck norris will f*%*k you up

gotta love the chuck norris facts. My favorite one wasnt on there, "There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard, only another fist." LOL.

I remember i watched himall the time